Development Does Not Pass Through Stations Like a Train

One of the issues I have with our modern educational paradigm is that there is an assumption that in learning, children run like trains.  That there is a single track they must all travel and that they must reach each train station (or developmental milestone) on time in order to make it to the end of the line (adulthood) on time.

We were initially attracted to unschooling because of its emphasis on trusting children to learn.  That we are all born passionate learners and the goal is to not destroy that interest in learning.  Expecting children to run on a timetable is highly likely to damage a natural desire to learn because it may force a child ahead of of themselves or push them backwards.  Much of what schools do in elementary school can be seen as busywork to keep the students occupied until something clicks and they “get” it.

I remember the experience of my brain suddenly maturing myself.  I was considered quite gifted in school and so was given many opportunities to work ahead.  Although I was definitely ahead in math, I simply could not wrap my mind around algebra.  I tried and tried and cried and studied and could not understand it.  Then all of a sudden, it made sense.  I was old enough at that point (maybe 12?) that I was capable of a certain level of metacognition and it was fascinating to me that it wasn’t a particular teacher or a particular method of explanation.  Over the course of a couple months, it was as if someone had removed cataracts from my brain and I could see what I couldn’t see before.

I was reminded of this today when C was drawing on his magnetic draw board and I realized he wasn’t scribbling.  He was drawing a person.  ”Draw a Person” is actually a developmental test that doctors and psychologists perform to give an idea of a child’s cognitive development separate from socioeconomic factors (such as exposure to books or museums) or language ability.  Basically all the adult does is ask a child to draw a person.  Three year olds can make circles and lines but struggle to assemble them into something resembling a person.  A four year old (someone who is mentally four years old) will draw a head with arms and legs coming directly out from the head.  At five years old, a child will add a body for the arms and legs.  Between five and five and a half, kids will start adding more facial features (such as ears), clothes, and three (not five) fingers.  This test can be used up through early teens and there is actually a complicated scoring system to determine the cognitive age of the individual based on a number of factors.

So C has never, not once, ever drawn drawn a person before.  Of course…he wasn’t supposed to yet.  But here’s what surprised me.  He announced he was drawing a picture of me:

A drawing of me, tadpole style but with hair, mouth, and eyes

First drawings are often described as “tadpoles” because of the way the legs come out of the head…and sometimes don’t even have arms.  C did give me some features right off the bat.

Notice the ears came next, then arms

But he wasn’t done.  Next he gave me ears.  Then arms.

Here comes a hand

Hands.  I even got hands.

I have three fingers on my right hand and three fingers on the left

Now fingers.  Three of them, as promised by the developmental specialists.  But these aren’t supposed to arrive until a couple years after the initial tadpole and also not til after the body for the arms and legs to attach to.  Of note, the three fingers on my left do not have a hand or arm but come directly from my head.

Next came a picture of Daddy.  The horizontal lines are Superhubby’s beard.  He was given eyes, mouth, nose (though in no particular location on his face), and a pair of shoes.  At this point I wondered why neither of us got any clothes if Superhubby is shown wearing shoes, but I didn’t ask because that would have spoiled the whole experience of seeing what C would do on his own.

And here’s Daddy as a tadpole with eyes, mouth and a beard

I’ve been pondering why Superhubby was given a forehead and I wasn’t but then I realized that I have very little visible forehead, esp when my hair isn’t pulled back from my face, but Superhubby has a lot of forehead.  My favorite part is Daddy’s right hand (on C’s left), which C said “Is picking his nose.”  When I laughed at this, C explained, “He has an owie on his nose so he’s scratching at it.”  The left arm (on C’s right and emanating from the beard) has a hand holding “something funny.”  C never explained the majority of the dots on the lower portion of the illustration but Daddy did get a pee-pee (“it’s small Mama, because this is about when Daddy was little”) and a kitten on the ground beside him (C’s left and Daddy’s right).

Here’s the final version of Daddy

What a reminder that development happens when it happens!  Who knows when C will just out of the blue reach some sort of milestone?  Or if the milestones will be sequential (like the fingers showing up before the body).  Children are not stuck on a single track of development and they change by fits and starts.  Our job as parents is to provide an enriching environment and support their learning.  While I do feel some children could use a little extra help sometimes, I think the majority of kids will do just fine if allowed to develop at their own pace.

Small House, Two (Plus) Kids: Homeschooling Room, Project Room, Playroom, Library

Today is the last installment of how we make our house work for us.  If you’ve been keeping track, you may be wondering how today can be the last if we haven’t mentioned bedrooms yet.  The answer to that is summed up in P’s explanation of our living arrangement that I mentioned the first day: “In this house, you use the space for what you need it for in the moment.”

Bedrooms as bedrooms are really only needed for sleeping.  While that takes up a considerable portion of the day, it doesn’t make full use of the room.  We’ll eventually change our arrangement, but for the time being, we don’t really have bedrooms.  We have rooms that are generally used for certain activities during the day and have beds in them for nighttime use.  We move the beds around as needed or desired.  Technically, we have a one bedroom house.  That one bedroom is currently our homeschooling room and soon-to-be birthing room.

I don’t have many pictures right now because my nesting is currently focused on making all these rooms how I want them…which means they are in chaos right now!

The home school room cum birthing room is currently emptied of everything except a twin mattress on a platform Superhubby whipped up to fit in the corner next to the radiator (standard frames don’t fit the space), an armchair, and the whiteboard on which we write P’s work for the week.  Oh, and all the bins of birthing supplies (everything from towels to cord clamp to first clothes to the inflatable birth tub and pump).  After E has safely arrived and we’ve adequately recovered, we’re turning it back into the homeschooling room by moving back the piano, other instruments, and our roll top desk that holds a computer and basic supplies.  A neighbor was getting rid of a tabletop bookshelf so we’re planning on putting that on top of the desk to hold P’s books (rather than have them on one of our living room bookcases as we did this year).  This room will also hold a globe (World Geography this year) and microscope (Biology this year).

The project room was the laundry room when we bought the house but was a big waste of space as it’s the size of the bedroom.  It’s not technically a bedroom as it’s more of an enclosed porch, but it works great as a project room.  We have an art table that Superhubby rescued from an elementary school dumpster (best dumpster diving find ever!) and lots of drawers and shelves for our art supplies.  Right now the desk is in there but when it moves to the homeschooling room, Superhubby will install a counter along that wall for our sewing machine and serger and any other “clean” activities.

Art table with storage

Over the sewing machines we have an old kitchen cupboard salvaged from another bungalow undergoing extensive renovations.  It actually has nice glass doors that just need enough paint removed from them so they close properly.  We have small bins to fit inside that will be used to organize more supplies.

Cupboard without doors

We also have wire shelves with more bins for organizing larger supplies (drop spindles and cards, fabric, etc).

Not quite organized yet

The library is what it sounds like: a room lined with bookshelves.  It is technically not a room in the house because our cellar is just over six feet high, but the space is useable and we count it as part of our square footage.  Right now the center of it is taken up with two twin sized mattresses lashed together to make a more or less king size bed for our family bed.  We move this bed around depending on the temperature of the house and where it seems to be best at the moment.  Eventually, we might move it into the attic and fill in the center of the room with more bookcases.

The playroom is a playroom in name only at this point.  We’re working on it.  This could also be considered the “homeschool preschool room”.  Superhubby is right now working on cleaning it out–which is partly a matter of emptying and partly a matter of cleaning.  There is no ceiling in the room and we have no subfloors so anything that spills in the dining room (including doggie accidents, yuck!) filters straight through between the floor boards and into the room underneath.  Once it’s all cleaned out, Superhubby is putting up a nice thick sheet of plastic so nothing more comes through.  This room will have another bed, two bookshelves for organizing C’s various manipulatives and toys, and space for blocks, trains, and other activities.

In one corner we have a table where we’re going to set up space for me to scrapbook!  I don’t do the artsy, finicky type of scrapbooking but I do enjoy selecting particular photos and arranging them on a page with a handwritten description of what’s happening or what trait of the individual I think they illustrate.  I haven’t been able to do this in a long time because the few free minutes I have are spent getting out my things and putting them away so I don’t actually have time to work on anything.  I think that’s one reason I started blogging.  It’s an outlet for that urge to document life, but can be done in brief increments as I’m able.

Right now this works for us.  I’m sure as we have more children and they get older, they are going to want more personal space.  Our plans diverge somewhat at this point.  Superhubby grew up as an only child until the age of 14 and has little understanding of the desperate longing a child in a large family can feel for just a little space of one’s own.  I, on the other hand, spent a lot of time during my childhood and adolescence trying to kick my sisters out of our bedroom, draw lines, privatize a closet or corner, something or anything to have a little space to call my own that I could decorate as I wished and keep as organized as I wished.

Superhubby wants to finish our attic into a playroom and continue with a lack of personal space.  I want to finish our attic into a series of cupboard beds.  Superhubby is gradually yielding to my desire but we won’t be able to decide for certain until it is actually a finished space so we can determine what will fit.  As a child, I loved the book Gnomes by Rien Poortvliet and Wil Huygen.

Cupboard beds from Gnomes (click for larger image)

I was especially charmed by their tiny homes and cozy cupboard beds.  In a house with too few rooms and too many children, that is the best way I could envision giving each person some private space.  The inside can be decorated in any way the occupant wishes and provide a personal area in which to keep a few prized possessions safe.

Gnome wife getting up in the morning

I’m hoping the attic is large enough to install five cupboard beds, a child-sized half bath and a corner for a family bed.  We’ll see if this is just wishful thinking once Superhubby has finished the space enough for us to walk around and do measurements.

So that’s how we make our space work.  There is pretty much always someone at home doing something and having a small house has allowed us to do this (because we aren’t paying for a larger house).  We also feel that living in a small house has improved our relationships and forced us to really live by our values.  By addressing “how we make it work,” I am certainly not saying that a small house is a bad thing.  On the contrary, we would rather live in a small house than a large one.

Small House, Two (Plus) Kids: Bathroom, Laundry/Family Closet

In a house with the room arrangement and dimensions of ours, no room can really truly be considered “private.”  That said, we are able to close doors such that guests are trapped in just the living and dining rooms.  If they need to use the (one and only) bathroom, they have to go through either the kitchen or the homeschooling room, so we try to keep at least one of them presentable at any given time.  The laundry room is perhaps the most private room we have, mostly because every other room in the house leads to some other room but the laundry room is a dead end.  You only open that door if you are actually going into that particular room.

We have one bathroom.  I went through a phase of desperation when all I wanted in this whole world was a second bathroom.  For whatever reason, it seemed as if every time I wanted to use it, Superhubby was already in there and would be in there for-eh-ver (imagine teenager level bad attitude here).  I’m not sure why I had this phase or why it passed, but it will certainly give me more sympathy when (not if) any of our kids suffer through it.  Who knows, we may even figure out how to squeeze in a a little half bath somewhere at some point.

We have a typical tub faucet, a hand shower, and a regular shower; we’ve found the hand shower very useful for hosing off a dirty toddler

The bathroom has a charming clawfoot tub, a pedestal sink (which means zero counter space), an old kitchen cupboard mounted to the wall and a toilet.  Until recently, the tub was just a tub; around Christmas time when I could no longer wash “the dark side of the moon” as Superhubby calls the underside of my belly in the laundry room shower (more about that in a moment), we added a shower on to the existing tap and hand shower.

I thought about picking up the toys from the floor and putting them in the basket before taking the picture…

In the bathroom itself, we have a little wooden cabinet for towels.  We placed a little wrought iron garden table at the end of the bathtub for setting shampoo bottles and a plastic basket for bath toys (which we keep to a minimum).  We store the bathroom cleaning products (toilet cleanser and an all-natural lime and scale remover) under the little table for easy access and the plunger and brush just behind the toilet.

I thought about tidying up so it looks like we put things away…but we don’t. Right to left are the cupboard and cabinet, the laundry hamper, and the diaper pail

To be fair, I think the single bathroom is probably the least convenient aspect of a small house.  C likes taking long baths so everyone either has to be comfortable using the toilet in his presence or just hold it.  Superhubby and I figure letting our kids see us use the facilities is good for potty training and P will do so as well if he’s really desperate.  Superhubby and P both take long showers and while I will run in to pee with Superhubby in the shower, P and I like keeping our distance from each other when it comes to both activities.  Being pregnant, I am frequently occupying the room when someone else wants to use it.  I’m glad we tend to have strong stomachs around here because I don’t know what we’d do if we all came down with stomach flu.  Ultimately, we’d like to squeeze in a little half bath somewhere.  In the attic, we’d have to use child sized fixtures but they would still be usable for everyone.

We have one closet in the house, and that one is only slightly useful.  Someone carved a slice out of the bathroom at some point creating a long narrow closet.  It is a little over two feet wide and about 6 feet long.  When we bought the house it actually had a closet rod running the length of it.  This meant you had to scooch along the whole length of the rod to get any clothes off it, which usually resulted in lots of clothes falling on the floor.  We redesigned it with barn hooks on the wall for hanging items and shelves over the barn hooks and at the end.

Right now the closet is being used to store toys (until the playroom is ready) and birthing supplies and a few clothes.  Our plan is to eventually turn it into usable attic access so we can turn the attic into either a playroom or room for beds.

So with only one closet, that one only minimally useful, and it destined for other uses, what do we do for closet space?  Well, the solution we came up with and then found out is fairly common among families in our situation was the family closet.  Our laundry room is another long narrow room, only with slightly larger dimensions (about 6 feet wide and 11 feet long).  It is actually the original porch, now enclosed, and has a sloping roof and floor.  You once again enter on the narrow end, this time with windows to the right on the outside wall.  Along the inside wall we currently have the washer and dryer (stacked), a huge old cement sink with two basins, and a shower that Superhubby jerryrigged out of a galvanized washtub and some miscellaneous plumbing.  It worked until my belly became too large a roof for me to wash the underside.  At that point, we shelled out to convert our bathtub into a full shower as well and started dismantling the washtub shower.

We are currently part way through the conversion, which is why there aren’t any pictures.  It looks really awful!  We’re removing the shower and sink and putting the washer and dryer side by side.  Our plan is to have a counter over the washer and dryer with a single basin sink in it and a cupboard under the sink.  This will give us folding table space as well.  Along the wall with the windows, we have a dresser that has C’s clothes in boxes and a set of shelves that hold my clothes and Superhubby’s clothes.  Larger items are folded and stacked and smaller items (socks, underwear) are in clear plastic bins.  There are also heaps and stacks of items that don’t have a home yet, bins of blue baby clothes we won’t need again until a future baby, and so forth.

Once we’ve moved around appliances and removed the shower, our plan is to put in more shelves and some hanging space.  That should give us plenty of room for E’s and P’s clothes (which are currently in the one actual closet) as well as future children’s clothes.  We also have a couple vintage suitcases that we use as end tables in the living room in which we also store out-of-season clothes.  Right now one of them has all my non-maternity clothes.  I actually own more maternity clothes than non because we each only have a limited number of outfits to wear for each season.  For non-maternity I’ve basically warm or cold weather.  For maternity I have early, middle, and gargantuan as well as both warm and cold weather.  Plus maternity clothes take up significantly more space because they are just plain larger.

So that’s how our private spaces are arranged.  Next up: activity rooms.

Small House, Two (Plus) Kids: Kitchen, Dining, Living

I think the first thing we had to get over in making a small house work for our various activities is that certain activities happen in certain rooms.  There’s a mentality in our culture that you have formal meals in the dining room, informal meals in the kitchen, watch television in the family room, have company in the living room, sleep in the bedroom, play in the rec room, etc.  Because our house was build before the open floor plan became the norm, it is actually divided into multiple small rooms.  That said, to limit each room to a particular use just doesn’t work.

Our kitchen is about 11 feet x 12 feet with a narrow pantry at one end.  We find it great to work in because everything is just one step away.  It can be tricky, though if everyone is in there at once.  Bella (the dog) likes to lie in the middle of the floor and around the edges we may have C cutting up strawberries for himself, P baking a cake or making a sandwich, Superhubby washing dishes or fixing supper, and me trying to pick up or making something else or just being a part of the chaos.  Because of how much kitchen work happens there, the kitchen is probably the only room that has no significant second purpose.  Whoever is just hanging out to be with everyone else has to carefully choose a spot to sit and move as needed.

When we bought the house, a PO (previous owner…who usually leaves us “P.O.”ed) had removed the pantry to make the kitchen larger but effectively removed all storage space and left an open space in the center that was too small for a table anyway.  We built the pantry back in where it was before but left the end open for a fridge.  We designed the pantry with shallow shelves on purpose so nothing could hide behind everything else.  Here’s the pantry wall built back in.  We now how room for a cupboard in what was once the middle of the room.  You can just make out the fridge door handle at a 90 degree angle to the right of the back door.  Directly to the right of the cupboard is the doorway into the pantry:

As we have no dishwasher and a lot of dishes must pass through the clean and ready…use…dirty…wash…dry…clean and ready cycle daily, we’ve worked to come up with a system that works.  We have a dishpan in the sink at all times with soapy water and the shelving over the sink (on clearance at IKEA) is both our dish drainer and storage.  Our dishes are from a restaurant supply store and virtually indestructible.  We actually have 36 of everything (with a growing a family ourselves and my large family all in the area it just made sense).  Rather than allow the potential of 36 dirty bowls at once, we only use the dishes currently out and if there isn’t a clean dish for some reason, the person who needs one has to wash it.  The general rule is that everyone  washes his or her own dish.  C needs help to make sure he does a thorough job but enjoys doing his own.  Here’s our dish rack:We have deep shelves over the fridge that are tall enough to hold large plastic bins (one of the perks of the standard 9 foot ceilings in bungalows).  Everything that is used less than every week or so is organized into these bins.  That would include everything from cake pans to my krumkake iron.  This is the least convenient part of our arrangement as I have to ask Superhubby to get down anything I need but it keeps everything clean and ready to use at a moment’s notice.

The oven is on the small side but we’re so used to it now that it doesn’t bother us.  I do occasionally wish we had a second oven but that is really only for big holidays.  The space next to the oven is meant as a cupboard and we usually use it for a couple frying pans and a couple iron pots but for holidays, it works wonderfully as a warming oven to keep food ready.

That mixer was replaced with a heavy duty Kitchenaid from Superhubby’s dad btw…it holds up much better to what we put it through

We eat all our meals in the dining room (unless we’re being totally casual and sitting on the bed in the homeschooling room or standing around the kitchen while working on a food project).  The dining table is also P’s desk when he wants to work at a table instead of in his lap, is where we sit down if we have a lot of chopping or other tedious kitchen work to do, is currently our only folding table until we finish our laundry room redo (more on that another day), and is where friends and family usually sit to visit.  It seats 14 very comfortably and can squeeze in 18-20 if everyone is willing to share elbow room.

Table in use

Right now C’s toy kitchen arrangement is in one corner of the dining room and my cupboard of yarn and knitting is in the other with C’s doll cradle and dresser.  Eventually that will all move down to the currently unusable part of the cellar.

The most efficient method of wiping down the table

The dining room and living room are now just one big room with a ceiling beam the only line of demarcation.  Originally there were also built in bookcases and pillars dividing the rooms that some PO removed.  We’d always planned to build them back in, but we’re realizing having the flexibility to use the whole room at once as the extended family grows will be helpful.  The living room has built in book cases and just enough room for a Morris chair and a settle (bench with cushions).  There is not space for a normal sofa without taking up the entire room, so we don’t have one.  That’s right: we don’t own a sofa.

Superhubby’s view of half the family on the west side of the living room from his seat amongst the other half of the family on the east side of the living room

We have several baskets of toys and picture books in the living room.  We do a lot of living in the living room and usually have a train layout or block structure or animal party set up during the day.  We try to pick up every evening but it doesn’t always happen.

View of east end of living room from west end of living room (with engineering project in the middle)

By the front door but still in the living room, we have a coat rack for…coats…ok so that was obvious, and a toy chest to hold scarves, hats, etc.  Officially you can sit on it to take off your boots but in actual fact it is usually covered with bike helmets.  As we park our bikes in the backyard anyway and therefore generally go in and out that way, we’re eventually planning on an entryway storage of some sort by the back door for helmets, coats, etc.  Also next to the front door is a tiny (less than 1 foot square) table for putting things that need to go out.  Something that needs to be returned to a neighbor or a store or taken out to the car, for example.

That is it for the “main” part of the house.  Our porch is 22 feet wide (same width as the house) and 6 feet deep so helps extend our living space in most weather.  The house (as with most bungalows) feels settled into its outdoor space, so the front yard naturally extends the porch in nice weather…especially as we have a nice little picket fence around it that helps it feel more private.

Me sitting on our porch the year after we moved in

That said, we do a fair amount of visiting with neighbors from our porch as well.  The unwritten rule in our neighborhood is that if both neighbors are on the porch, they are in private space and to be ignored.  If one neighbor is off their porch but in their own yard, the neighbor still on the porch has the right to acknowledge or ignore the other neighbor and the neighbor in the yard ignores the neighbor on the porch unless acknowledged.  If walking past a neighbor on a porch while on a stroll, both will generally acknowledge each other and exchange pleasantries but if it’s going to be a more extended conversation, the neighbor on the porch will invite the other neighbor up to the porch to visit just as you might invite someone at the door to come sit down in the living room.  That neighbor is now almost as much in your home as if they’d actually come inside.

So those are the “public” rooms of our house…next up, we get private.

Small House, Two (Plus) Kids: What We Do in Our Space

A house just went up for sale on our block.  The couple just had a baby and decided they needed more space.  Mind you, this baby is about a month old and she herself doesn’t take up very much space yet, but the couple is already envisioning the need for both a living room and a family room, a large eat-in kitchen, a bedroom for each family member (except for the master suite, of course, which will accommodate two), and so forth.  I haven’t actually been in their house, but based on what they’ve said, I’m imagining the baby gear has probably taken over their living space.  It sounds like they have a crib, a playpen, a swing, a bouncy seat, an exersaucer, a baby gym, etc, etc, etc.

This is a different mindset from our neighbors who just moved in next door last year because they are planning on settling down and having kids.  One set comes here for the children and another leaves.  Why?  I think it comes down to the size of houses and our relationship with stuff and each other.

From what I can tell, most people feel they need a lot of stuff and a lot of space and don’t want to share either with the rest of the family.  For awhile while reading about and watching youtube videos about tiny houses, we became a little anxious about how  much stuff we have…until we realized that the people living with nothing were simply outsourcing their needs.  We’ve now become quite comfortable with our level of space-and-thing use.

That said, we’re having to make a few adjustments as we add E to the family.  We’ve been a family of three plus a spare brother (first my brother J and now my brother P) for the last several years and got along just fine.  For the most part, E will simply fit into our current arrangements but I thought it was time for an update on how it works.  The last time I wrote about this was right around the time J moved out and before P joined us and shortly before we decided it was time for another baby.

In 1950, the average new home in the U.S. provided just under 300 square feet per person.  In 2006, the average new home in the U.S. provided approximately 900 square feet per person!  We are still living in a 950 square foot house with a sort-of but not-really finished cellar that adds almost 200 square feet.  Right now just half of it is usable (the other half has nothing to prevent nasties from the floor above filtering down and covering everything with dirt and decay).  I don’t really consider that a particularly small house but once we have the full 1150 square feet and E is born, we will have just under 300 square feet per person, back to the 1950 average.  Which I suppose makes sense since our house was built in 1920.

As this is looking like it will be a longish post, I think I’ll start by describing our house today and then break it down into living area/solution.

I think the first thing to do when assessing your space is to determine what you actually DO in your house.  Some people only need a formal dining room once a year.  Is it really worth it to have a dining room that is used that little?  Can you use the room for something else and just fancy it up once a year?  Can you rent a room in a restaurant and completely eliminate that space sink?

Here’s what we found we actually DO in our home:

1. Lots of projects.  We cook all our meals at home, from mostly raw ingredients.  Many of the processed ingredients we processed ourselves.  I did stop baking all our bread when it got up to four loaves a week.  Call me lazy, but I felt it was taking up too much of my free time.  I might do it again someday.  Superhubby is constantly working on house projects, which means we have lots of tools and supplies wandering around our property.  Yes, he has a garage; no, the tools do not do a good job of staying there.  C and I do lots of art projects.  P enjoys working on computers and is about to start his first aquaponics system.  I knit, want to have a place to scrapbook but don’t so haven’t been (it takes all 15 minutes I have free just to get things out and put them away again).  We get random ideas and then do it–last week Superhubby and I sewed curtains for two rooms.  We’re about to make our own diaper wipes again (they have a high attrition rate).

2. We homeschool, which means all the activities and all that stuff that would ordinarily be outsourced to school has to have a place in our home.  This next year for P that means a microscope and associated paraphernalia as well as a globe.  And of course, lots of books.  For C that means we essentially have a cross between a Waldorf and Montessori preschool set up at home.  A lot of it is integrated into our usual lives (for instance, all knives and tongs and water glasses and pitchers and so forth are all just part of our kitchen gear).

3. We have to do a certain amount of self care.  Bathing, dressing, laundry, and so forth.

4. We have a constant stream of people (mostly family members but a few friends and neighbors) in and out of our house.  We have 10-13 people at dinner fairly regularly (my family).  We need a big dining room table and places for people to sit.

5. Though we are all quiet introverts, we all like to be close to each other.  We may not speak to each other for minutes to hours, but we all like being in the same room.

Here’s what we DON’T DO in our home:

1. Watch television

2. Give fancy parties and entertain fancy people (this is not to degrade our friends and family…we’re not keen on fancy ourselves)

Last week I overheard P explaining to someone, “In this house, you use the space for what you need it for in the moment.”  I think that is a good summary of how we make it work.

Are We Unschoolers? Nope.

As we are fast approaching the end of this school year, I am already gearing up for next.  P requested a couple weeks off but to start back up again very soon.  Our plan is to give him some time off from the time E arrives until after his second Boy Scout camp.  As I’ve been planning what to cover next year, I’ve been pondering what type of homeschooling we espouse.  Prior to starting with P last fall, we would have unwaveringly identified ourselves as unschoolers.  We felt we were unschooling C from birth.

However, when actually presented with a 13 year old eighth grader who needed a fresh start, we immediately made a plan.  We are definitely not following a particular curriculum, not holding on to many of the aspects of school such as tests and grades that we really don’t think apply to homeschooling, and generally being fairly relaxed about the whole thing.  But we aren’t exactly unschooling either.  Initially I blamed this on the fact that we had to answer to my mom.  P is not actually our child so we have to approximate regular schooling enough that his parents are comfortable with the education we are providing.

Over time I came to realize that I was actually comfortable with how we are facilitating P’s education.  And that P actually enjoys some structure.  A couple months ago, we installed a whiteboard in his room on which we wrote what we expected him to accomplish each week.  He immediately became more calm and confident.  He also started biking daily (one of the requirements is daily moderate to strenuous physical activity) and is taking great pride in his increasing speed and endurance.

P’s whiteboard

So are we now those imagined homeschoolers who go to their schoolroom every morning to complete worksheets?  Nope.  I don’t know why I have been pondering what type of homeschoolers we are.  Probably because I find it such a relief to find like-minded people.  When we discovered that “attachment parenting” more-or-less encompassed the choices we made, I was able to find an online forum where I can post thoughts or questions, find support, or get ideas.  When we discovered that our switch from our original plan to move to the country to grow food and keep chickens to living in the city to grow food and keep chickens was actually part of a movement called “urban homesteading”, I was able to find helpful blogs to follow, books to read, and classes to take that have helped immensely in our quest to make this work.  So I can only assume that if I can find our niche in the homeschooling world, I will also be able to find support and ideas that will be helpful, especially as we’re just starting out.

We are not unschoolers.  I’ve been scanning the web for an operational definition of an unschooler and the most straightforward I’ve found are generally exclusion criteria, for example: “…if you’re following a curriculum, or requiring work, it may be very relaxed homeschooling, or eclectic homeschooling, but not unschooling.”  But that title “eclectic homeschooling” jumped out at me.  I’ve been doing a little more research and feel that this is a group of homeschoolers I need to seek out.  Eclectic homeschoolers agree with unschoolers that homeschooling should be child-oriented rather than regimented.  However, there is a lot more room for direction and parental decisions as “an eclectic homeschooler is one who looks at the different approaches and methods of homeschooling and takes from each forming his/her own unique philosophy.”  This allows for our mixture of Waldorf, Montessori, and whatever with C, having a list of expectations without a definite curriculum for P, and throwing it all out the window if what everyone really needs is a trip to the Botanic Gardens.

We know that homeschooling is going to look very different for our own children than it does for P, partly because we don’t have to answer to someone else and partly because our own kids won’t have already had their natural love of learning beat out of them as P’s was  when he started with us.  That said, C enjoys a certain amount of structure and predictability.  He’s happier when we guide him into a rotation of activities that he might not have chosen for himself if left to his own devices.

Here are two good articles on eclectic homeschooling:

http://homelessons.blogspot.com/2007/07/eclectic-homeschooling.html

http://www.smartkidathome.com/Story/Eclectic.html

Nesting While Homeschooling: How to Teach Essay Writing

P has done phenomenally well this year in math and botany.  He’s really excelled in history and literature.  He’s covered a lot of material in EEPS.  He’s made leaps and bounds of progress in his physical strength and skill.  His essay writing could use a little work.

As we have finished botany, history and literature already, we are spending this final stretch of the year and the first part of next year reintroducing the basics of how to write an essay.  We will then focus on honing that skill.

Because I’m not sure how able to teach I’ll be from one day to the next, I whipped up a couple handouts on how to write what my sisters and I call “The Magic Expando Essay”.  The Magic Expando Essay is just what it sounds like.  It is an essay that can be magically expanded to any size needed.  Using this technique, I was able to start with my first ever essay (written in 4th grade about the Middle Ages) and continue to reuse it first in middle school, then in high school, and then in college.  Each time I simply made the thesis a little more complex, the structure longer, the language more interesting.  I got an A on it every time I turned it in.  I used exactly the same structure for every paper I wrote during my educational career including a 30 page capstone research paper during my senior year of college.

None of this information is novel by any stretch of the imagination.  This is the general method that was taught in our school district; however, I feel that the three of us developed it to an art.  We could whip out a fabulous essay in a couple hours by writing an outline (see link below for the general idea…we didn’t use a worksheet though) and then turning each point into a complete sentence.  Finally, we would work together to make each sentence and each paragraph a little stronger or more interesting than the first attempt.  Perhaps the most fun was coming up with “Ta-da! Ending”.  Our goal was to make the last paragraph so inspiring the teacher would feel like applauding.

If an essay needed to be longer, we simply inserted more details between points.  One sister majored in English and one in Creative Writing; I double majored in History and Biology.  Between the three of us, we used the same formula innumerable times and found that it always worked for writing a stellar essay.  I’m a little worried the information below in unintentionally plagiarized from some curriculum somewhere, but it’s not intended for publication, so I guess I should be ok.

Here is a link to a worksheet I made for creating a Magic Expando Essay: Essay Outline

Here is the handout I made explaining an occasion-position sentence (which is an instant thesis statement): Occasion Position Thesis Statements

Here is the handout I made explaining introductions: Introduction

Here is the handout I made explaining conclusions: Conclusing Paragraphs

So far this month our attempts at teaching this technique have failed miserably.  My hope is that by having structured worksheets, we will make some significant progress next week.

Finally, to help P edit his own work, I wrote a rubric for what we are looking for: Rubric to edit essays text doc

And here’s an explanation of being verbs (one of the problems being edited away): Being Verb

I don’t mind if other homeschoolers use these worksheets and handouts, but please let me know as I’m curious how they work for other people.